The wives to those husbands who have engaged in infidelity find it hard to answer the question "how to forgive infidelity" since their husbands do not say "I am sorry." They only say that when they do little things like stepping on the foot of the wife. However, they do not offer apologies about their infidelity and they do not want the issue to be discussed even if they have straying for a sometime. The most they can do after being pushed is to shake off the whole thing or merely give excuses.
This makes the wife wonder how it is possible to forgive a husband who has not even asked to be forgiven and does not think having an affair is a big issue that is hurting the wife. If your husband is not showing genuine remorse, you are feeling more hurt. The feelings that you might be having at this juncture are:
1. Puzzled by the failure of your husband to understand what to you appears to be an obvious thing.
2. Angered and sad by the delay that your husband is exhibiting by failing to be apologetic and ask to be forgiven.
3. Lost because you do not know which the way is forward as your husband continues being remote and this continues to hurt you.
You may be thinking that the words "I am sorry" carry a huge impact and meaning in marriage. Without hearing these words, the question of how to forgive infidelity is almost impossible. There are under factors that might be prompting the need for you to hear your husband apologizing. If you have been waiting for your spouse's apology for engaging in infidelity, there is usually more that goes on under the surface than just the desire to hear your husband uttering the two words.
There are personal reasons for wanting to hear those words being mentioned. The reasons are:
1. This is an acceptance that your husband has caused you pain by straying from the marriage.
2. Confirmation of disappointment and the hurt that you are feeling.
3. Admission and recognition that the current turmoil that you are going through including negative emotions and thoughts are all the fault of your cheating husband.
4. Acceptance by the cheating spouse that staining was a big mistake that has effects on your marriage.
5. Agreement by the straying husband to carry the blame for breaking the marriage foundations.
If you have not heard the words being mentioned, then it becomes difficult to answer the question how to forgive infidelity. In fact, no matter how you may want to move on, you are stuck. This is because of the emphasis that you put on the words that express responsibility, remorse and forgiveness requests.
There are wives who try moving on even if the cheating husband does not apologize. This does not work in the long-term as there is mistrust since the cheater did not take any action to show remorse. It is necessary for your cheating husband to apologize but if he refuses redefine your ideas.