As if dating wasn’t confusing enough, these days it’s not uncommon for contact to continue even after the relationship ends. Facebook, MySpace, emails, and now text-messages… all of these things are ways for your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend to still keep in touch with you long after you go your separate ways.
But exactly why does your ex still text you? Are they lonely? Just being friendly? Or are they reaching out for a more specific reason, such as possibly wanting you back?
Reasons an Ex Will Text You After The Breakup
If you were on the receiving end of an unwanted breakup, it’s hard to know how to interpret these mixed signals. At this point you’re looking for signs that your ex might want you back, but at the same time you’re also trying to be realistic. That said, an ex who still texts you after breaking things off is definitely not finished with seeing you yet.
Now this doesn’t necessarily mean your ex boyfriend or girlfriend wants to get back together right now. However, the interest they’re showing is certainly more than friendly contact. There’s no such thing as making innocent small talk – not after dating someone and sharing such an intimate connection. Chances are good your ex still has unresolved feelings and emotions toward you, and he or she doesn’t know exactly how to handle them right now.
Think about it this way: if your ex was totally and completely finished with you he or she wouldn’t be talking to you at ALL. There wouldn’t be calls, emails, or texts from your ex… these types of contact would drop off dramatically the moment your ex made the decision to move forward without you.
So what does your ex want? Why are they hammering out text-messages even after the romance is over?
Simply put, your ex boyfriend or girlfriend is still thinking about you. Despite the fact that you’re no longer dating, your ex hasn’t let go of the idea of having you in their life. They’d like to keep you around, but they can’t do it directly. So they do the next best thing: they string you along with random texts and scattered phone calls designed to keep you just within arm’s reach.
You see, your ex doesn’t want you back. At least not right now, anyway. Instead, your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend is trying to keep you hanging on while they try out their new single life. Knowing that you’re still on the other end of the phone, even through something as impersonal as text-messaging, allows your ex the confidence and security of knowing they could always go backwards if need be. This enables your ex to move forward, and possibly meet somebody else.
Responding To Texts From Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Answering your ex’s text messages at this point is a big mistake. Go back and forth with them right now, and you’re doing nothing more than playing the game. Instantly answering such contact lets your ex know that he or she can probably get you back whenever they want to. But not answering these texts and completely ignoring your ex boyfriend or girlfriend? This will go a long way toward making them want you back.
An ex who doesn’t know where you are or what you’re doing will get very curious very quickly. Ignore your ex’s text messages and they’ll feel the same rejection you’re going through right now. They’ll start worrying that maybe you’ve moved on, or perhaps you’re getting over the relationship already. By not playing this little text-message volleyball game you’re ensuring maximum future interest on the part of your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend.
If you’re asking the question why does my ex still text me, it’s probably because you want them back. Maybe you’ve already taken steps toward reversing your breakup, or trying to get your ex to change their mind. In reality however, the very act of texting you betrays your ex boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s current interest level. As innocent as such contact might seem (or as innocent as they pretend it is), your ex is keeping this one line of communication open for a specific reason: to monitor your progress without them.
Want your boyfriend or girlfriend back? Don’t leave that important goal to chance. Don’t play games, or fall into your ex’s well-laid friendship trap. Instead, work toward learning what to do, and even more importantly, exactly when you should be taking action.