My husband is having an affair, should I leave? Every woman in this position is bound to ask this question. To someone on the outside the answer seems to be a resounding and very vocal, “yes.” No one can know what you feel though and it’s not up to anyone but you to decide what is best for your marriage. You need to take a long, hard look at the foundation of the relationship and your husband’s behavior and state of mind now. From there you can make an informed and compassionate decision about what is best for not only you but your family too.
One major deciding factor in whether you should stay or leave when you first discover your husband is having an affair is if the adulterous relationship is still ongoing. Many women stumble upon the knowledge that their husband is being unfaithful. Others are tipped off by a well meaning friend or family member or in some cases a jilted mistress. Still other women are handed the information from their guilty husband. Regardless of how you learn of the infidelity, his current relationship with the other woman should be your main concern. If they still see each other and he has no intention of changing that, you need to separate yourself from that. You don’t want to get caught up in a situation where you are fighting for your husband’s love and affection with another woman. That can’t end well for any of you.
Does your husband show genuine remorse over his indiscretion? If he appears to regret what he did and is taking steps to remedy the broken trust and betrayal, you need to take that into serious consideration. On the other hand if he is continually pointing blame in your direction and saying that you caused him to cheat, that’s not a healthy place for you to be.
Your children will obviously be a major concern to you when you’re considering whether or not to leave your husband after he’s had an affair. If you and your husband aren’t on speaking terms or when you do talk it’s strictly to argue, your children aren’t going to benefit from witnessing that. Consider whether there’s any real chance of rebuilding the relationship for your own sake, not your children’s. Kids are very resilient and the comfort they take in spending time with two happy parents who live apart is much more beneficial than living in a home filled with anger and resentment.