The real reasons behind infidelity in marriage are often more complex than they seem. The common view is often skewed towards simple lust and lack of self control but when we take a closer look at everything going on it becomes a little harder to take this view. Instead we often see a range of issues that culminate in a (poor) decision to cheat.
Some of the more common reasons can be found in this list.
- Cultural differences – Sometimes being with someone of a different background to yourself can pose its own challenges. Ethnic and cultural differences can drive a wedge between couples at times and when this gets out of hand someone of a similar background can be the catalyst for an affair.
- Disappointment in partners growth – We all start out idyllic and grow together for the first part of a marriage. Life how keeps moving and sometimes we grow apart over time. Before we realize it one partner has ended too much disappointment about this and takes out that frustration with someone close to their current mental state.
- Unrealistic expectations – The expectation on our partners, our success and marriage in general can be astonishing. When the pressures of unmet expectations come to a head a new partner some sometimes seem to offer a solution … or an escape.
- Lack of physical intelligence – This is a very common problem and one most people can refer to or at least understand. When one partner is not getting physical integrity they can stray even though they should not. This is the closest to pure lust driven affairs I have seen.
- Poor Communication – Sometimes communication so so poor that a spouse may strike up a friendship with someone else who they can communicate on a better level or so it looks. This sort of emotional affair can lead to a more physical one very often however.
As you can probably see the stereotypes of men cheating with their hot secretary or the wife sleeping with the pool boy are usually just fantasy compared with the real root issues in interviews that lead to infidelity.