After having been married for a while, you just start to know certain things about your spouse. Call it a sixth sense if you will, but your intuition about what they are thinking and doing usually becomes much sharper with time. It is almost as if you can read their thoughts sometimes.
You may have come to suspect that your spouse or partner has fallen for another person – at least emotionally. When such situations have not yet reached the stage of physical affection, they are known as emotional affairs. If you have bought the idea of their having an emotional affair up to them but they have directed your observation as silly or unwarranted, they may be in denial about the situation.
Of course, if you are just naturally the jealous type, you should examine your own assumptions before automatically assuming that your spouse is up to something. However, if you feel you have a pretty accurate handle on the situation, then you need to take action in order to overcome their denial so that the healing can begin
If you suspect that your spouse or partner has been engaged in an emotional affair but is in denial about it, here is how to increase their denial in 3 steps:
1. Bring up the most important piece of evidence you have: that you are hurting badly due to their affair:
You may not have any hard evidence of the affair, but there is one piece of evidence that is even stronger than a suspicious cell phone record or a mysterious dinner receipt turning up: your feelings. The first step to overcoming their denial about the situation is to let them know how hurt you are about it.
If this has been going on for quite some time, or if you believe it is pretty serious, then you may be feeling anything from anger to despair to frustration. Find a way to express your feelings to your partner or spouse.
2. Get them to agree that spending time with and constantly thinking about a person outside your marriage is not healthy:
Even if your spouse or significant other does not outright admit that they are having an emotional affair, you can probably get them to recognize that you are extremely uncomfortable with the current situation. The bottom line is: any time absent thinking about this person outside person is too much time. It is essential for the healing process that they overcome their denial.
3. Let them know that your relationship will never be the same again unless they admit to and put a stop to the affair:
Your relationship together is at risk right now, and you know it. Why not make this fact perfectly clear to your spouse or partner? You need to calmly, and firmly, give him or her fair warning that failure to admit the problem and end the affair can only lead to your temporary breakup.
Take these 3 steps to overcoming their denial while in the midst of overcoming an emotional infidelity.
Once you have gotten them to recognize that you are not at all okay with how they have been acting and feeling toward this other person, only then can you proceed down the path of healing your relationship.