For a woman who husband or boyfriend is cheating, every day can feel like walking on pins and needles. The anticipation of what he may be doing with her, whether he is thinking about her right now, and where his loyalties lie (with you or her) can be crippling at times.
Suspecting or even getting positive confirmation that your man is cheating on you with another woman can feel like a punch to the gut. For a woman who guy is having an affair, she can experience a range of emotional reactions to the news, from despair to resentment to deep sadness.
What is even harder is the feeling of not knowing how to get him to end his current affair and stop his cheating ways. Of course, you can not force his hand directly. That is why, as his wife or girlfriend, you need to find the "leverage points" where you can exert some control over your life in relationship to his actions. Leverage points are all about finding the most effective use of your energy and time to make something happen.
If you are wondering, "When do men stop cheating?", Here are your 5 leverage points as his wife:
1. You can bring the cheating to his attention:
Many husbands who cheat believe (usually falsely) that their deeds fly below their wife or girlfriend's radar. Since in your case you are aware of what he is doing, you can bring his actions to your collective attention openly. Avoid skirting around the issue, and instead make it an established fact that he is, indeed, doing something that is hurting your relationship.
2. You are able to raise his awareness about how his actions have made you feel:
Once the topic is out in the open and a part of your dialogue with him, your next step is to help him become aware of how (and how much) his actions make you feel badly. Do not talk about it in a way that sounds like you are blaming him. Instead, focus on expressing how all of this makes you feel. Do not hold back.
3. You can ask him questions about how he sees the future of your relationship:
Next, it is important to bring to his awareness the idea that your marriage can not last under these conditions. Ask him to share with you about his expectations for the future of your relationship.
4. You can tell him your feelings about where the relationship is currently headed:
Now, share with him about how his actions have affected the future of your marriage or committed relationship, according to you. Let him know that you will not be able to stay with him without he stops his affair immediately.
5. You are able to ask him to commit to ending the affair and make a renewed commitment to your marriage:
You may not even be sure if you want to stay in your relationship with him as things stand now – even if he stops the cheating right away. Still, if you think that you have room in your heart to give the relationship a second chance, ask him to commit to not only ending the affair, but to making a renewed effort and commitment to the relationship.
Try these 5 leverage points as you grapple with answer to the question, "When do men stop cheating?"